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Dads Hurt Too: How Abortion Affects Men

Updated: Jul 26, 2023

how abortion affects men

Many people think that abortion is just a “women’s issue.” But they don’t understand that it

also affects the father, as well, for he too loses a child.

According to the National Survey of Family Growth, one in five men have impregnated someone who’s had an abortion. And although very little research has been done on post-abortive men, that doesn’t mean the issue isn’t relevant to men. In fact, considerable anecdotal evidence makes it clear: Men hurt, too.

Regardless of whether the father initially agreed with the abortion, he may soon find that he

regrets the decision. This post-abortive trauma often leads to a number of adverse

psychological and physiological issues, including:

  • Helplessness: Men often feel powerless to intervene when their partner decides to abort the child against their wishes.

  • Guilt: Because many men defer to their girlfriends, wives, or daughters to make the abortion decision, this leads would-be fathers or grandfathers to experience intense guilt over neglecting their role as protectors of children. If the man pressured his partner into having the procedure, feelings of guilt are often more severe.

  • Emotional difficulties: These can include increased anxiety, difficulty expressing affection, a sense of emasculation, and even symptoms of PTSD.

  • Addiction: Some men whose partners have had an abortion may turn to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism.

  • Sexual dysfunction: Abortion can also change a man’s feelings about sex. A man may come to see his sexual desires as unwanted or dangerous because they can result in the death of a child. Some men have even reported erectile dysfunction after their child was aborted.

Where Can Men Turn?

Fortunately, more and more men are seeking help after an abortion. In one national survey, about 51 percent of men who were negatively impacted by abortion sought help, and an additional 31 percent didn’t seek help but felt that help could have been beneficial.

If you know someone who could use post-abortive support (male or female), we encourage you to join our Abortion Recovery Class for hope and healing. Register at or call 714-633-4673 today.

Dear Father, Your wonderful design of human beings includes the roles of mother and father. Womenare fashioned for childbearing, so we naturally grieve for the babies carried and victimized by the act of abortion that is against Your will. We also deeply sympathize with a mother’s grief for having chosen this path, for though she bears no child, she bears devastating consequences. There’s the loss of a baby, and with this life is taken an important piece of her motherhood. But there’s more, the loss of fatherhood as well. Abortion steals the God-given role of father from men who also mourn. We know that Jesus wept, and so understand that men, as well as women, are created for righteous weeping. Heavenly Father, we realize how human fathers also suffer from the rebellious decisions made against You. Yet we marvel that Your forgiveness is deeper and wider than any human rebellion, and that your lovingkindness is unfathomable beyond measure. And so in the name of Jesus Christ who gives us access to Your throne of grace, we lift up to you all of those wounded by abortion. We pray that each brokenhearted man and woman may be freed from the captivity of sin and its guilt, knowing that it was our Savior Who was wounded bearing our sins, dying so that we might live. May His mercy comfort and help them press forward towards the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, in Whose name we pray. Amen.
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